March 30, 2018:Anxiety and August

I don’t have a lot to say today. I was thinking hard all day long about what I wanted to write about. What’s funny is that I had this particular blog planned for a long time. It was actually the one I was leading up to. Then I changed my mind as I started to plan them out a little more and decided on a different ending post for tomorrow.

I wanted to talk about buying my first house.

But the honest truth is that I don’t have a heck of a lot to say about it. I still get a lot of questions about how I’m liking it. My usual answer is, “ask me again in a year.”

The problem is that large financial decisions put me into a sort of fight or flight mode, where survival is my primary goal. In the past the largest financial decision I had made were for my cars. And at the time I felt like I was signing my life away. I really don’t like having debt. I don’t like owing people…anything. It makes my nerves raw.

While there are defiantly aspects to owning a house that I’m enjoying there are just as many that put me on edge.

  • I love that I get to have pets again! But, I’m going to have to invest in a better fence that he can’t dig under…
  • I love that I get to put holes in the wall and not worry about rules to decorating. But I have to keep in mind that I might want to sell it some day…
  • I love that I get to have a garden. But I have soul say in yard maintenance….

With every good there seems to be and equal worry. I’m hoping that when August (the one year mark) rolls around, I’ll feel more secure in my choice to buy a home. For now I’ll just have to enjoy the good parts and try not to worry so much.



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